That toenail will fall off.
It will grow back.
Putting Vaseline on your nipples is nothing to be ashamed of.
It’s OK if the guy doing the race in a costume beats you.
But you should try your very best to beat that guy on crutches.
On hot days, sprinklers are your friends. Feel free to detour across lawns to get to them.
Race day is never, ever, ever the day to try something new. Save the peanut butter-spirulina protein boost bar for another time.
If you don’t have a favorite workout hat, shirt, shorts, bra, underwear, socks and watch, you aren’t training enough.
Finish a marathon or triathlon = bragging rights for life.
Running won’t kill you. You’ll pass out first.
Carrying a bike over one shoulder is cool. Carrying it over a shoulder while running up steps = extra coolness points.
Doctors really do know what they’re talking about. So when they say take a break, TAKE A BREAK.
Fake rivalries are terrific motivators. So it’s OK to pretend that your training buddy is a zombie who’s trying to kill you.
Family members who mock you for all your time on the road are really just jealous.
The only way to go faster is by going faster.
Remember, when you get home, record every bend and twist of your route on Gmaps-Pedometer. Then celebrate your accomplishment!
Peanut butter-spirulina bar, anyone?